Me? I Choose Life.

Am I supposed to feel ashamed and silenced because I’m a Pro-Life Christian?  I am not ashamed.  Social media and news outlets typically only broadcast the side of a woman’s right to choose.  Yet opposing views, such as mine, are portrayed as hostile, ignorant, bible-thumping jerks.

I’m not a Pro-Life American who stands outside an abortion clinic yelling, “That’s right! You’re going to burn in hell!”  I think that type of behavior is wrong and hypocritically judgmental.  I’m not shouting out profanities at anyone who’s had an abortion or plans to have the procedure.  And I’m not aggressively and verbally pushing “Jesus” into women’s brains as if I am holier than thou and without sin.

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For me, being Pro-Life doesn’t mean that I’m against abortion for victims of molestation, rape, or younger-aged minors who are far too immature to understand the real consequences of sexual intercourse.  Perhaps this makes me altered from the whole “definition” of “Pro-Life.”  But unless “your” daughter has endured one of these life-impacting traumas, I think it’s premature to assume you’d naturally encourage her to keep the pregnancy as a parent.

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I also don’t expect a woman to endanger her own life for the sake of carrying out a high-risk pregnancy.

Being Pro-Life doesn’t mean I hate or even dislike women who DO choose abortion because I don’t.

What I can say is that if an indecisive female friend or stranger confided in me about being pregnant and scared, I would encourage her to choose Life for many reasons. Giving the gift of life is a beautiful thing.

Why are we not promoting the concept of adoption and bringing awareness to the fact that in America today, there are over 2 million couples waiting to adopt-and that includes children of all races and those with special needs? (This information from the National Council for Adoption)

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Life has begun from the moment of conception, and at just 22 days after conception a beating heart is present. That’s a proven fact.

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Although I’m opposed to abortions (apart from the conditions I mentioned earlier), I have zero tolerance for late-term abortions. At 20 weeks of pregnancy, a woman is more than halfway through her pregnancy. Although late-term abortion is illegal in most of the U.S., seven states and the District of Columbia allow abortion AT ANY POINT during a pregnancy, according to reproductive-research org the Guttmacher Institute. In the other 43 states, abortion is banned—with limited exceptions, such as for the safety of the mother (after the second trimester).

My first pregnancy occurred when I was 19 years old.  As an unwed young woman, I was petrified and clueless as to how I was going to raise a child on a $5/hour salary.  But nonetheless I considered all my options before seeing the doctor.

I felt emotional as I watched and listened to the loud, gloriously thumping sound of my baby’s heartbeat.   Although I wasn’t at peace with my situation, it was still a beautiful moment in my life.  My doctor printed out my sonogram pictures and I stared at them nonstop all the way out to my car. Instantly I felt a vibe that I was having a girl and her name would be Alexandra. I planned on calling her Alex.

Times were stressful and a lot of arguing had transpired between me and my unborn baby’s father.  He mentioned the idea of me getting an abortion.  It broke my heart. A few months into the pregnancy, devastation struck. I awoke feeling nauseous with severe cramping. I can assure you that as a pregnant woman nothing is more horrifying than the sight of blood.

My mother picked me up and we raced over to the obstetrician’s office. I cried and begged him to help me as if there was something he could do to save my little one. The sonogram showed the baby was fine and my doctor insisted I stay on bed rest for the next several weeks.  Relieved, I got up and walked down the hall to the bathroom before departing the building.

BOOM! I began hemorrhaging out of nowhere. The pain was excruciating.  The doctor ran toward me and with one glance at his face I knew …. It was over.  A D&C was scheduled, performed, and I was sent home to mourn. This is the size of the baby I lost at just 11 weeks of pregnancy.  Does this look like a “blob of cells” as the media tells us?  I think not.

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While I can’t say that I’ve been through an abortion, I can say that I know what it’s like to be young, broke, pregnant, and petrified.  I know what it’s like to feel “loss.”

At 20 years old I became pregnant again.  By that time life wasn’t as stressful.  I was still unwed and earning $5/hour. However, the conflict my boyfriend and I had was long over.  The pregnancy was an AMAZING experience: hearing the heartbeat, the movements on the sonogram screen, and of course feeling the baby kick for the first time.  Every single moment felt like a gift.

Looking back at my beautiful son now, I can’t imagine having aborted him.  My life wouldn’t feel complete without him in it.

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But the bigger question in my mind is “Why do so many women get to the stage of Abortion?”   In 2014 (latest data avail), 926,200 abortions were performed in the United States.

Why aren’t we educating our daughters more on the many preventative options? While I understand no birth control method is a 100 percent guarantee, most are pretty good.  Between birth control pills, condoms, spermicide, IUDs, Depo-Provera shot, NuvaRing, the Patch, etc., the chances of getting pregnant should be pretty slim.

I don’t want to hear: “Birth control is expensive. I couldn’t afford it.” Condoms are dirt cheap and anyone of any age can buy them.  Condoms are 98% effective in preventing pregnancy.

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If a couple “slips up” and doesn’t use protection, why isn’t the Plan B pill the next step?  It’s a far cheaper option, and less mentally draining than an abortion.  Anyone 17 or older can buy Plan B One Step over the counter at a drug store or Planned Parenthood facility. If you’re under the age of 17, you can only get the morning-after pill with a prescription from a health care provider.

I’ve utilized the Plan B pill option twice in my life, and I don’t feel guilty for it.

I have a dear friend who got pregnant at 16 years of age.  She didn’t know that the Plan B pill had to be taken BEFORE the pregnancy actually happened.  Ultimately, she decided to keep the baby. Today she is the proud mother of a beautiful teenage daughter.  She couldn’t possibly imagine her life without her daughter, she said.

The 44th Annual March for Life is this Friday, 27 January 2017 in Washington, DC. Although I will not be attending, I support the cause. I know the turnout won’t be as widespread and popular as The Women’s March but that doesn’t make this cause less meaningful in my eyes.

If you’re a Pro-Choice person, I hold no judgment and I’m not going to debate you over it. Your journey with or without, believing or not believing, in God is for you to decide. All I ask is that you also respect my decision to be a Pro-Life Christian.

Please watch:

 

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Author: melissaannsite

I'm a 40-something year old woman who has lived a life of adventure so far. I'm an ENFP Virgo with no judgment in my heart on others. Everyone is entitled to live their life as they wish, but I still enjoy the humor that life has to offer... and the memories.

1 thought on “Me? I Choose Life.”

  1. I am glad everything worked our for you. To me, it appears that God gave you your first abortion (miscarriage). Consequently, you do not know how things would have worked out for you if you had carried that baby to term.
    I think one’s attitude toward this sensitive subject has to do with one’s life experience. Your second pregnancy turned out to be one in which there was more moral support. On the other hand, if a pregnant woman is shamed or rejected because of her pregnancy, she will have a harder time feeling joyful about it. While moral support is essential, we cannot overlook the fact that many pro-life people are ardent supporters of carrying a baby to term, but are not around for the new mother and her baby when she faces real-life hardships.
    A single mother will probably need a full-time job. Realistically, counselors at crisis pregnancy centers should inform her about the cost of daycare. Of course, if she is going to stay home, there will be many politicians and, especially, tax payers, who (often struggling themselves) do not wish to have their tax money go to mothers who cannot afford their children.
    You are absolutely correct that education is at the heart of things. Yet, many pro-lifers are of the mindset that abstinence works. We have a governor’s daughter who proved that, while it may be espoused, it often fails. We do not live in a perfect world.
    Thank goodness, you make clear that you do not judge others for their decisions. While I am pro-life, I am also pro-choice. It all depends on how these labels are interpreted. And, I think lives have been shattered when there are no options — only judgments.

    Like

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